Yesterday we launched Single and Anxious the web series. This was my second attempt of this particular show. I must admit after the first failed attempt I was fearful of even working on the series let alone releasing it. For 6 months I decided to conquer my fear of acceptance. Whenever you release a form of art you are open to criticism. Crictism in this social media era is plentiful. You get critiqued from every single angle. However; I learned I am my biggest critic and largest stumbling block. Here’s how fear worked during the creation of Single and Anxious.
Pre-Production
- Is this actually going to work?
- Will they learn these lines?
- Will they have enough emotion?
- Will we have enough crew?
- Jesus where is the money coming from?
- How am I going to feed all these people?
- Where in the world are these locations coming from?
Production
- This is never going to get done
- What made me think I could write, rehearse, film, edit and score a series in 6 months?
- That wig has to go
- These long hours are killing me/us
- Feeding these folks is expensive
- Will the new mics be here in time?
- Ugh the new mics are broke did we get enough for that scene?
- Will we be able to use these new cameras properly?
- What made you think you could shoot an entire episode in one day with EVERYONE on set for the first time?
- Why did you take all these weddings on back to back after the filming for the show was done?
Post Production
- This is a mess
- We can’t put this out
- Will Bernard get this coloring done in time?
- Ohh Lord we lost all the audio for epiosde 6
- These edits are terrible
- What is ADR?
- We can’t release this?
- What am I going to do about the music?
- I had no idea we needed so much music
- Welp third sound person quit and this is a mess
- This won’t work
- Gabriel is going to die scoring and mixing this
- OHH LORD now I have to edit more than half of the series in 3 weeks
- So much is out of focus
- Where am I getting closed capiton from?
There were many more fears that kept floating in my mind. The anxiety of the marketing became real. BUT I’ve been conquering those fears. We made ALOT of mistakes BUT we made some good art that we are proud of. Fear is false evidence appearing real. Don’t get me wrong all of these issues were real. However; they weren’t so big that I should not have pushed published. I find that a lot of people talk about what they want to create. Then the doing gets lost in fear and we never see those beautiful dreams. No matter how hard the road is travel it. The only way to conquer fear is in doing the exact thing it’s telling you not to do.
Writing a book is not an easy task. Writing a 50,000 word book in two months is even harder. It would be incredibly challenging for me to write this book in my own strength. Yesterday, I had the most amazing time with Jesus writing Single and Anxious. From 8am-5pm I wrote (with food and admin breaks). I had a new album by