Relationships

I’ve spent the years searching for her, making many mistakes~
False discoveries and soul ties, no longer can I risk take…
I’ve realized that my own emotions betray me~
Blinding my eyes, motioning to slay me…
No, I’m not crazy, but often in a confused state~
Like a homeless wino passing up an unused plate…
Of food, yes I am on the hunt for my missing rib~
Entering a journey where almost every Christian slips…
Listening to the soft still voice amidst all the distraction~
Following God and learning to stay in His traction…
Yes, He’s tracking the one whom I seek in due time~
But how will I recognize this one whose mine?…
So I ask Him to let her character of Godliness be revealed~
Now in this time of peace, my eyes’ scales are seen pealed…
I finally understand the qualities that I’ve been searching for~
A woman who considers the things of this world worthless scorn…
From the earth is formed a woman of love, joy, and gentleness~
Her goodness and faith show what sentimental is…
Not legalistic but she knows that all things aren’t expedient~
Willing to put off desires that are immediate…
She’d rather provide remediate for a depraved land~
Seeking to please the Lord and free slaved man…
She rejects the passions of this downtrodden society~
From sex, money, to fashion, she’s not down, but plod in propriety…
Ignored by most because she doesn’t follow the world’s trends~
She may not show it but there’s no end to this girl’s ends…
Treasure stored in heaven, consider her a diamond in the rough~
Woman of umatched virtue, shining in the tough-est…
Of circumstances, not excessive, rather modest in appearance~
But flawless in character because it’s God she’s adhering…
Mirrored in Christ’s image with a desire for holiness~
Avoids that which appears evil, her form is only His…
Careful in talk, she only speaks that which is edifying~
Telling truth even when it hurts instead of lying…
Submissive to her husband and regards his decisions~
And when he is fumbling, she guards and convicts him…
She has conviction to continually die to self~
Leave pride and wealth and putting “I” on shelf…
A lost diamond that’s perfect cut but not lavish either~
So I gotta ask… have you seen her?…

I thank you Lord for having revealed your standard of a wife to me and the specific characteristics and attributes that she will have. I realize that part of the reason as to why I have gotten caught up in premature emotional attachments is because I didn’t have a set standard layed out as to whom my wife should be. Now I will be careful and gentle with each diamond that comes my way, that represents my sisters in Christ by being obedient to God and the boundaries which He has set in place. I know that through observing the facets of your diamonds from a friendship level then you will reveal whom my wife is and I will not attach myself to another diamond that may look pretty, gleaming real nice, but is not the one which will give You ultimate glory. In all of this Lord, you know the desires of my heart to have a Godly marriage which is a ministry unto others and I trust and thank you for Your will having already been accomplished. In Jesus name. Amen

Daniel Unger

This weekend I had the opportunity of “sitting at the feet” of one of the greatest teachers on leadership that I currently know. His name is Dr. Conway Edwards. He is a dynamic leader, pastor and teacher. I just wanted to let you all in on a great resource. He and his wife (Jada Edwards) wrote a book that blessed me “SO”. It truly sobered me up in regards to relationships and it also serves as a reminder in the back of my head “not to be anxious for anything” including marriage. 🙂 This book consistently reminds me of what my role in courtship is 🙂

Have you ever wondered if a male or female had the same attraction to you as you have to them? Are you creating in your own mind emotional relationships that lead to marriage or union in dating that only you know and a select few know about? Are you focused more on those thoughts than the thoughts from above? (Colossians 3:2)

Let me tell you that you are no different than thousands of people struggling or giving into this temptation. We are wired as human being to have a longing and a desire to be loved. This desire can easily turn into a long journey of heartache and open doors that should remain closed.

Recently (the last 13 months), I have had to beat emotional desires down with the Word of God. The thoughts and emotions were coming so rapidly that I knew and have known that it is/was an attack from the enemy. Especially since I knew that the brother had absolutely no desire for me accept to be my brother (We previously had the just brother and sister talk to make sure no false signals were being sent (Proverbs 18:22). If you are struggling in this area, sometimes it is good just to ask the question so you know how to attack it).

It is a long and hard journey to remain emotionally and sexually set apart and pure. Most people do not see the value in it. The world encourages us to engage in relationships and flirting constantly. When one becomes pregnant out of wedlock they asked how? (The sin is in the sex not the child). When marriages fall apart they make excuses. When homosexuals begin to desire to display their sin openly they wonder where they all came from. When domestic violence happens in the home they looked shocked (even when the world promotes violence more than clean air).

Brothers and Sisters I am petitioning you to fight the good fight of emotional purity. We must address the problems of our hearts that cause us to desire and long for men and women who are not our husbands or wives. For so many years we have engaged in pornography, seen dysfunctional relationships and sexual relationships for monetary gain etc. Our past must be cleaned up so that God can get the glory out of our lives.

For that last 4 years I have not engaged in any sexual activity (not even a kiss) but my ride to emotional purity has been a hard journey. It is easy to give your body away and keep your emotions detached in the beginning. It is harder to take a stand and say I will keep my heart pure towards men and women so that when my husband arrives I will be emotionally clean. But more so I will love the Lord my God with all my heart, mind and soul (Matthew 22:37).

I ask you how many people have you dated or tried to pursue in a relationship in the last year? How many people have you engage in emotional impurity with openly and behind the windows of your heart. Have you taken the time to clean yourself from all those broken relationships past and present? Are you looking at women’s outward appearance to decide whether or not you want to pursue them (men)? (1 Samuel 16:7, Proverbs 30:31) Are you looking at men’s outward appearance desiring for them to pursue you, ladies? (1 Samuel 16:7; 1 Corinthians 15:32-34) Have you asked God where are the places emotionally that you need to clean? If not ask Him, Jesus will show you the areas that need to be cleaned before you continue in the pursuit of marriage.

We are all longing to be loved by someone we can call our own. However, we are looking for love in all the wrong places and faces. We must first turn our hearts and affections to the Lord Jesus. He is the only one that can fulfill those desires. No man or woman in this world or the one to come can love you the way Jesus loves you. He was destined since the beginning of time to the lover of your soul (Psalm 143:8). Look to Him to be complete. (John 4: 1-26)

So we took a two day break. Let’s get back to emotional purity. What I have learned is that emotional purity is mind purity. Brothers (meaning any male) you have gotten a bad wrap throughout time, especially if your ancestors were involved in any form of slavery on either side.

It’s hard out there for a brother….when you are used to not knowing how to treat women. Brother’s you are in charge of guarding our hearts. If you see a female falling for you or sending signals, cut it off at the head. We know you like the attention, we do too, but you as a man know from the gate what your intentions are. Let them be known. If you do not desire to marry the woman, leave her alone completely if she is sending signals. Or learn how to be the sister’s friend with no other motive but to love her as a sister.

I was once told women date hoping the man will marry them, men date knowing they will marry that woman. You know your intentions. Be honest, respectful and compassionate.

Many brothers do not know how to treat a woman with respect, dignity and honor because they were never taught how to. How do we know? If someone says something about your female family member, you are ready to fight. But if someone makes a disrespectful comment about a woman that you do not know you are ready laugh.

Brothers you have to step your game up to guard not only your emotions but our emotions as well. Relationships are not simply about having someone when you need or want them. They are about changing your lives and the lives of those around you.

As a brother before you should even consider a woman you need to have a clean heart, finances in order and already working the vision that God has for your life. (Ladies if he is not doing these things back away.) It is a terrible thing to enter into a relationship and have to depart because you do not have your heart, emotions, spiritual life and vision in order.

Brother’s search for a wife and not simply a girlfriend, desire to leave a legacy of a long healthy prosperous marriage and not simply a baby mama (No condemnation if you already have children).

In order to apply this information, you have to be real with yourself. Are you ready for a wife? Are you still struggling with lust, masturbation, former heartache, abusive tendencies, comparing every woman to the other women in your life etc? Brothers get your heart right so that he that findeth a wife can cover the wife that the Lord has given. Brother’s if you are not right with God and living according to His word, your entire family will be off balance you are the head and the covering of the family. Be an example not a hindrance to the plan of God for you and your future/current family.
Loving my brothers,
CHRISTina FAITH

Focus verses:
Psalm 119:10
I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands.
Psalm 139:23
Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.
Colossians 3:12-14
12Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity

So ladies, let us speak about being the pursued. I know from personal experience we live in a “New Age” that holds strong to the concept of independent women. There used to be a time when the woman was the one pursued but now we have no problem “hollering” at the man. We see something we want and we do what we need to do to get it. So we pursue the brothers. When we do this we take away purpose from the man. He was created to find us. Not the other way around. Many of us have quoted, “He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing” (Proverbs 18:22) but we forget the latter half of the verse “he obtains favour from the Lord”. Ladies we have to raise our standards. When your husband finds you, he obtains favour from the Lord. Wow! We are that special to God that when our husbands find us they get an extra bonus from God.

Let us learn to be pursued. Men by nature are hunters. They were created to find us and provide. We were created to be helpmates to them. You know the two become one. Now I am not saying be a housewife (unless that is your calling) but we have to know our positions. Let us learn to be dependent on God that our “independence” as single women does not harm our relationships in the future. We are so important to God that He wants the men to search us out like the treasures that we are.

Learning to be pursued,

CHRISTina FAITH

P.s. brothers I got something for you all tomorrow.

Good afternoon all,

So the emotional purity topics have been hitting home. Many have asked questions and made comments about how the messages have been helpful and encouraging.

Let’s talk about waiting instead of dating. What is dating? Dating is the world’s alternative for courtship. I like to describe dating as “testing the waters…without a defined yes of getting married in the near future (not 5-10 year from now)”. Dating allows you to sample the product. See if you want it. Play with it and send it back. If and when it does not meet all of your standards or there’s it’s time to go. Dating is a easy way to say I am feeling you, “I love you” or I like you but your not worth marrying to me or I am not ready now. If you are not ready, stay out of the kitchen. Dating heightens your chance for divorce as well. When you date and leave you develop low tolerance for staying committed in a relationship. You get used to breaking up. Which is “divorce” without papers.

Courtship says, “I just want what God has for me and I am welling to put in a life time of commitment to obtain what God has”. I personally have decided to “WAIT”. Now let’s not get it twisted more than a couple of brother’s have tried to court me. But I refuse to settle for “less” than what lines up with the promises of God. During my wait God has raised my standards. I don’t fall for the “okey doke” anymore. I almost feel a couple times because of impatience and lust of the eyes.

So today let us wait on the Lord for our mate and everyday remind ourselves. I am waiting because I am worth the wait. Not just sexually but emotionally as well. Dr. Ron Rannikar author of Choosing God’s Best stated, “It takes faith and courage to wait on God, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord’ (Psalm 27:14). Waiting for the Lord means pausing for further instructions…God always saves His best for those who are willing to wait for it” (28-29).

Loving you all,
Christina Faith

P.S. post your questions in the group or message me. Please invite your friends to the group on facebook CHRISTina FAITH Supporters ☺

So I was thinking. I see a lot of females with male “friends”. Ladies we should be evaluating these relationships. We should talk to the brothers about these relationships so that we do not begin to replace our “friendship” with “invisible” companionship. At times we can use our male friends and female friends as substitutes for what we truly desire in a mate. We start hanging out, talking on the phone late nights and thinking about each other haphazardly. Be mindful not to enter into “invisible” relationship with people of the opposite sex and or same sex. By doing this we damage our relationships, hearts and emotions. Define the relationship if this is the case. Put boundaries in place to you’re your emotional purity. Check out emotionalpurity.blogspot.com on more information about maintaining emotional purity. It’s not enough just to be physically pure we must be emotionally pure.

Love ya,
CHRISTina FAITH

Over the last two months I have had to check my motives and interactions with two brothers in Christ in particular. As time went on I realized that I was in danger of attaching myself emotionally too them. Nothing to deep but I would find my mind wandering towards them. As I immediately attacked those thoughts and casted them down keeping my thoughts fixed on Christ. I realized WOW it is so easy to become emotionally attached to people you are physically, mentally and spiritually attracted to. Are you practicing emotional purity? Are you daydreaming about someone in particular? Are you investing time, energy and prayers for the wrong reasons? Are you flirting to get attention? Are you doing things specially for this person that you wouldn’t do for another? If you are, check those things at the gate…you are living an emotionally impure life.

Let us not commit emotional adultery, incest nor fornication. By developing unhealthy relationship in our minds or in the physical with people we know do not feel the same way about us nor desire to enter into courtship that leads to marriage. Press to keep your emotions pure!

Colossians 3:2 (New International Version)
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things.

So how are you all doing? I am well. Getting my flesh in check and letting the Master take control. In this culture it is encourage that we allow the flesh to take the role in the realm of relationships. We have truly lost what it is to be brother/sister and friend. Daily we are pumped with ads, songs, and media all around about relationships. These relationships are fly by night, selfishly centered and worthless. These relationships do nothing but cause us to be come emotional basket-cases. They lead us to heartache that should never take place.